I Was Afraid To Love Again, But You Helped Me

So there I was, just randomly passing time (avoiding stuff I should BE doing) on google and I came across a pic that read “I was afraid to love again, but you helped me”. It made me think a bit.

We’ve all been in relationships (or had relations) with someone that went sour and have made us totally want to give up on the prospect of ever finding real (or true) love and happiness with that one special person. I’ve been there a few times; I’m not going to lie. It sucked. It always does. But I think the aftermath of something you thought was good, ending, is inevitable. If you had genuine feelings for that person of course you’re going to hurt more than the other party. I usually feel like I end up hurting more because I naturally feel a lot more at times. But that’s just me and my feelings related to a whole nother other topic which I won’t get into now.

But finding love again, or having love find you doesn’t necessarily have to be in the form of a relationship relationship. You can see something that inspires you to feel love or even have a slight glimmer of hope that it will happen for you (again). I know there are some people out there who feel or fear that they will never find or fall in love again because it’s been so long and they’ve just given up all together. That kinda saddens me a little. Don’t we all deserve a little bit of love and happiness?  Just because you’re into someone who isn’t AS into you as you are them, I really think you shouldn’t be discouraged by it and be put off completely.

Love is a wonderful thing. Not only to have but also to see. It doesn’t have to be in the form of dating. I’m talking about love in general. Being in love (although as times may be trying) is honestly a great feeling when the feeling is mutual. I’ve been afraid to love and I’ve also been somewhat afraid of love. Not too sure if the reason is because I fall easily. As much as I’m pro love and all that hoopla, sometimes I’ll see people being all lovey-dovey and I’ll be like eww get a room, lol. Not because I’m envious of it, sometimes it’s just like ugh, why the PDA right infront of my face. I’ve been in a few little romances and relations with guys that haven’t lasted very long and I guess that made me think what’s the point or trying again or going out on a limb and seeing what happens.

Being single is fun at times, at other times not so much. But if you choose to be in a relationship, you have got to make your intentions clear from the get go. For you and the other person involved. At the end of the day, you don’t have to get into any kind of relationship with someone you choose to “test the waters with”.

But like I was saying, love is a great thing to experience. It makes you do and say stupid things and you will have not a care in the world.  And if things don’t work out, at least there will be some good memories. Just don’t get involved with someone because you feel lonely at the time. You will be miserable and it will show and it could make the other person feel like an idiot.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and feel that things don’t feel the way they did in the beginning and that your efforts and time are going unnoticed? Yeah I have. Not a nice feeling or position to be in at all. That’s when you know, you gotta end it and move on. I know I did. Sure it took me a while to get over that person but the fact of the matter is, is that I did, and I never went back as much as the proposals were presented to me. I said naaah, because I knew the person and I knew that nothing would change (despite protests that they had changed) I knew it would pretty much be the same and I didn’t want to be in that position again.

Like the song “I can’t make you love me” (originally done by Bonnie Raitt, but I love the Peter Andre version, because I just love him!) goes..

“Cause I can’t make you love me, If you don’t.

You can’t make your heart feel, something it won’t”

 Love is natural. It has to be. I don’t think you can be forced into love and be forced to love. I mean arranged marriages are kinda like that (minus the forced bit for some) but could you ever stay in a loveless relationship? I couldn’t. I’d rather get out than stay and be unhappy. Ok I think that’s enough rambling for today.

The point I wanted to make was when you find someone who’s good to you, make them know it. Appreciate them and let them know how you feel and stuff and hope that they feel the same way too. When that one person comes along who makes you see things from a different perspective, you know they are special and one of a kind. I do hope all those that feel let down by people and love, do eventually get to find (or be found) by that one person who’ll become their world.

I’ll end this post with one of my most favourite quotes about love. It’s from the Bible (p.s I’m not religious in any way, but I do love this passage)

1 Corinthians 13v 4

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”.

Until next time Stay safe and have a great weekend 🙂

 

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6 thoughts on “I Was Afraid To Love Again, But You Helped Me

  1. Nice post. I’m nuts over a man, I genuinely love this man but he’s with someone else. Well he was single for a short while but I wasn’t willing to cross that line. He most likely has no clue what I feel for him beyond a type of friendship. He’s an English professor and I attend the same college. I’d never put him or his job in jeopardy. So I keep my feelings to myself and go about my life.

    • Thanks. Seems you’re in a bit of a tricky situation. Big of anyone to sacrifice their own feelings for the sake (and job in your case) of someone they truly care about. At least you’re still able to admire from afar as much as it kills you.

      Keep your options open, never know who has a deeper interest in you 🙂

      Thanks for reading 🙂

  2. Aww such a cute post
    I was wondering what are your thoughts on this:
    I’ve been best friends with this guys for like two years but I’ve liked him since like, the start. After about a year and a bit I finally broke out of the friendzone (woohoo!) and he told me he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me. However he did say we’d have to break up in time for Ramadan, which meant we had 2 and a half months left to go. Of course I still said yes, and the whole time we were together was so amazing and it was definitely the best relationship I’ve ever had, because he was still my best friend, but with all the extra perks of being a boyfriend. Anyway now we’ve broken up as we planned and although we promised to remain best friends, I’m afraid that I’ll never find something half as good as what I had with him. Even worse, I’m afraid that he’ll move on before I do, and he’ll eventually find someone else and I’ll just be miserable and jealous =/

    • See that’s something I once questioned myself about. Most people fall in love with their best friend, but I’ve never done or experienced that. I think to myself, is it really possible to love someone so much and bla bla without them ever getting to that best friend status? Guess it makes the relationship better but nonetheless it’ll till be great regardless.

      Anywho..getting side tracked (oopsie). So you two had an awesome thing then had to break up? That’s a bit of a bummer :/ Do you know why you agreed to date even though you were made fully aware of the unfortunate ending? I was hoping t hear you say you’d get back once Ramadan was over. Must be super hard to go back to being best mates knowing you can’t be anything more.

      Maybe this “break – up” will make him realise all that you and the relationship was an he’ll find his way back to you.

      Sounds to me like you’re just head over heals for this man (bless) but I guess when we fall really hard for someone, we always have a little worry that if things go south, we’ll never find anyone like him (or her). If he moves on before you, then I guess you’ll know where you stand with him. I don’t know what he’s like so I can’t really say. But another thing, if he’s of a religious faith (and you’re not) that can have its issues too. But then again, even “normal typical” dating can be hard.

      We will always have that one person we treasure dearly and will always want in our lives, but it doesn’t always work that way. If he cares for you and you’v vowed to be best friends till you’re old and grey, then he’ll have the decency to tell you. Or maybe not.Depending on if you tell him how you’re really feeling.

      If the love is one sided, it’s really not worth the pining, agony and tears. (Yeah, I’ve been there, sucked really bad). Eventually you’ll find some strength and courage to accept fate and slowly move on with your life. It’ll be hard sure, but we all get through things eventually. Maybe not get over completely but we do.

      Hey jealousy is good (sorta) just shows you’re passionate and still care and the feeling is alive. I don’y see you as being the jealous type who goes all psychotic.

      Either way, you’ll grown and learn from the outcome of the situation.

      Remember when dating was easy? Yeah me neither. (Growing up ad being an adult suuuuuucks)

      p.s Hows that for an essay?

      • Aww don’t worry I love reading long replies.
        You see every one of our friends assumes we’ll get back together after Ramadan, but the thing is, we know that if we do that then that’s it, we’ll stay together forever. The problem is his family wouldn’t be very accepting of him marrying me (for cultural reasons) so he doesn’t want to delay the inevitable. Ahh stories like these always suck, right?
        I guess he’ll end up being “the one that got away” as they call it.
        I minute part of me still hopes things will somehow work out, but that’s just wishful thinking

      • Bless. It’s not a situation you want to place yourself in or be in. But I guess he’ll always be in your life and you’ll always have each other (maybe not the way you want) in your lives. The love is still there in a way.

        Be strong and have faith. Things always have a way of working themselves out 🙂

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