15th September – Writing Helps Me

There’s a quote by Anne Frank – “Paper is more patient than man.”

When I was a kid, I used to be really sensitive. As in I would get upset very easily. It really didn’t take much to make me cry. Without saying too much, I had a lot of sh*t going on in my life from a young age and I didn’t know how to deal/cope with it all. (Nothing soo serious though) Talking about what was going on was not even an option.  All that lead to was more crying.

It’s always difficult talking to people when you have a hard time talking to people in general, and when there really isn’t anyone around to talk to, you have to find alternative methods. I guess that’s why I spent a lot of time alone and talking to myself. I’m not an only child, but I always did (and still kinda do) feel like I had single child syndrome. Don’t know if that’s a legit thing, but that’s how I felt. Lol.

I’m not sure why or what made me get into writing. I guess the creative side just lay dormant for some time. I always had a diary (as I’m sure loads of kids had) but I really got into writing once I hit my teens. That’s when things (for me) started to go wrong. Not like I got into drugs or alcohol or anything like that, I just mean mentally. I became an angry person due to the things around me, but I didn’t take it out on anyone or anything. Except paper.  Referring to the quote at the beginning.. “Paper is more patient than man.” I can honestly say I can understand what that means.

I have always been the kind of person who doesn’t go running to people at the first sign of trouble. Even as a kid. I hardly relied on anyone for anything. Never asked for anything. I was pretty much content and happy with the thigs I already had. Pride played (and still does) a part in my life, and probably always will. I have a hard time going to people for help or assistance unless it was absolutely necessary.

Anywhoo, with that said, I took to writing, because “Paper is more patient than man”.  I’ve always found it easier to communicate my words and feeling to paper rather than to people. Don’t ask me why, I just do. It just felt more comfortable.

I guess it (writing) also helped me understand what I’m trying to deal with.

That’s probably why I started this blog. Apart from the fact that I was getting tired of some comments from people on my facebook, I thought it was time I took my writing elsewhere. People don’t really get or understand half of the stuff I post.

As hard as blogging everyday can be, I find it therapeutic in a way.  Because of some of the things I post and the way I “talk”, people have been telling me for the longest time to go to the doc, seek counselling and all that stuff. Why do I need to do all that? Forgive me but isn’t therapy for people who need help understanding how to deal with things and figure them out? I already know I have issues, I also know what they are, what’s caused (or causing) them and in the last few years, I think I’ve become a lot better at being in control with my emotions.

I’m not against therapy and talking things out with someone and getting help, I just don’t see the urgent need for ME to pursue it right now.

Since taking time out to figuring things out, life has been a little easier and better. We all have our ways of coping with things. The conventional and convenient ways don’t always work for everyone.

So yeah. I do enjoy writing. I’m not the best at it, but I feel the more you write, the more you learn about the art of writing and you get to enjoy it more and in time you’ll hopefully get better at it. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t post, but then again, this is my blog right? I should have the freedom to post whatever, regardless of its content. Don’t get me wrong, this blog isn’t meant to be all serious and perfect, it’s just my little corner I come to when I feel like expressing or just when I need to release. Writing has always calmed me down whenever I’ve been feeling overwhelmed or excited or whatever.

As exhausting as it can be at times when I have nothing much to say, I do intend to keep writing here for as long as possible. It’s the one thing I feel is the one place where I can be (and feel) free for a few moments.

My blog and my writings are like my happy place 🙂

p.s Wow I wrote a lot, been a long time since I’ve managed more than a few sentences. When the emotions are strong, the writing will be lengthy. Lol. Anywhoo, I’ve not thoroughly double checked what I wrote, so if there are mistakes, I apologise.

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