So there’s been something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. I think I’m a pretty decent person, but I just don’t understand what it is about other people, whereby they think they can just behave a certain way towards me and then expect me just act as though everything is all hunky dory.
Sometimes I still get so mad at myself for not realising what these people were really doing to me and how badly their behaviour was affecting me. I think I started to realise the reason why. It still doesn’t quite make sense but I think the reason why I put up/allowed it for so long was because I felt like I owed it to them (to “keep the peace” and just ignore). Or myself maybe? Because we were friends (or related) and I kinda knew the reason behind their attitude. I also started to realise that their behaviour towards me was not my fault. They’re just a-holes (and the really were/are all jerks to me).
The day I finally said no, you know what, I don’t need this, I don’t deserve this. I’ve done nothing wrong for you to treat me this way and I’m not having it anymore. It felt quite liberating to free myself from their negativity.
Do I still think about or care for them? Yes and no. I no longer feel an obligation towards them to try and make things right (even though THEY’RE the ones at fault). I’ve tried and I can only do so much. I can’t be the only one putting in the effort.
What’s even worse is when they leave you alone for a while (at your request) and they come back to you WITH THE SAME ATTITUDE they had before! -_- Like seriously. If you want me to even try to like you again and try to be friends or act normally towards (and around) you, you gotta realise your behaviour and make amends. Not only to me, but to yourself too.
But I’ve come to the conclusion that certain people will never see the error of their ways and will always expect you to come crawling back to them. Well sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not going to be that person anymore.
We all have our breaking points and I’ve just about reached mine with some people.