17th April – Keeping It Real

I like to write and I like to blog. I’m not very good at either but I still enjoy doing both.

I decided to start a blog because honestly, I was tired of airing my stuff on a particular site (I’m sure you know which one I’m referring to) and needed a better place to express my feelings without being judged. And since this is my blog that I decided to crate, I feel like I can be free to say whatever I want, however I want. But at times it feels like I still have to watch what I say.

Is this normal to feel this way?

I do feel better about expressing myself here and also like the fact that I have the freedom to just say what’s on my mind, but I still take caution with what I publish. Maybe because I say really personal things at times, or I let my emotions get the better of me and I act out due to the rage I’m feeling. (Safe to say I’ve become a lot calmer in recent months).

I guess I worry a little because I know at one point I’m going to have to show my family (and those around me) the stuff I’ve been writing and they probably won’t like what they see very much.

*Shrugs*

But anyway, this IS my little corner where I feel like I can keep it real and not worry (or care) too much about my audience. I write on here for me and that’s all that matters 🙂

Now that I’ve got all that stuff out of the way, I can get to something weird that happened to me this week.

Like I mentioned before, I’ve always enjoyed writing. I’ve used it as a way to express feelings as well as a coping mechanism for stuff I was trying to deal with. And I’ve always had this little fantasy that I’d turn it into a profession someday, but lately I’ve been feeling like it’ll never happen and I should just give up that fantasy and keep my writing as a side-line hobby..

Anywhoooo…the other day, I woke up with the song “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith, sign #1 telling me not to give it up just yet. And as I was getting ready and waiting for the bus, the news was on there was a woman being interviewed (can’t remember her name) and she is an author, director and producer (she’s got a movie out and it looks really good, can’t remember the name of it). Sign #2 perhaps? And THEN, I heard a song on tv called “Do What You Love.” Sign #3!

:O :O :O All that happened in the space of a few hours! Freaky huh?

So I dunno, maybe I will try to develop my writing skills and see if I can get anywhere.

All decisions start with the decision to try right? 🙂

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